Youth sports coaches in recent years have come under more scrutiny than ever before. From four-year teams to the ranks of high school and college coaches, there has been a magnifying glass focused on the team leader: the youth coach. Obviously, that can be a good thing. To these men and women we entrust our children with a few hours a day. We want you to use your good judgment, protecting them from preventable harm and providing the guidance you have been entrusted with. However, as with any situation like coaching, there is the flip side, where you read stories of parental confrontations, unheard of competitive pressure to win at all costs, or coaches who simply think they are the next Vince Lombardi or Bobby Knight.
Being on both sides of that fence as a parent and as a youth sports coach, I have seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. I have had parents come to me as a coach and thank me for my efforts with their children. I have heard parents yell at me from the stands during games. I have seen a father want to go after one of the opposing team’s pitchers during one of our baseball games because that pitcher had just hit his son when he was batting.
As a parent, I have watched coaches try to practice 48 different plays for a group of 6 and 7 year old basketball players who can barely dribble a basketball. I have seen coaches who practically act as babysitters, letting kids do whatever they want without any training or credible guidance. I have seen coaches work with compassion, commitment and focus with children.
Youth sports are full of coaches of all levels. They are human like the rest of us, remember. So what do we want from our coaches? What do we think makes a coach that we would like to be or, as parents, we want our children to have?
As difficult as it is, I think the main trait of a youth coach is to be as direct as possible. Whether he’s in a younger learning league or a more advanced competitive league, be clear and precise. Players and parents will know exactly where they stand and what their goals are. That way, if he’s coaching a five-year-old soccer league, he wants to make sure everyone knows that he’s teaching a lot during the season and not insisting on winning.
Conversely, if you’re in a more competitive environment, make sure players know where you stand. They may not like the fact that they’re sitting in the dugout any more than they’re starting out with, but tell them what their role is and why. If necessary, let them know what they can do to get into the starting lineup. But again, be realistic. If you know that a child, no matter how hard they work, won’t develop the skills necessary to break into the starting role, don’t fool them into thinking that might be the case. That may hurt at first, but they will respect you for being honest with them.
The key ingredient here is to be consistent. Staying the course and being consistent with your philosophy day after day is huge. Children and their parents will pick up on it quickly if you change your goals weekly. You will lose credibility and you will lose the respect of your players, your parents and perhaps your administration as well.
Obviously, it’s important to be consistent with the big picture, but also with the norms and rules you’ve set. You don’t want to have “Jordan Rules” when it comes to players, especially when it comes to the most talented players on your team. Again, this relates more to youth coaching in a more competitive environment. Sticking to your overall goals, as well as detailed team rules, goes a long way in keeping your players’ attention.
As a parent, we appreciate that the coach is thoroughly knowledgeable about the game he is coaching. However, what we don’t appreciate is someone who really doesn’t want to be around children. If you love the game of baseball, for example, but really don’t like being asked a million questions by a bunch of ten-year-olds about everything from technique to what snack they’re going to eat after the game, then maybe you need to look up another way to get involved in the game. Maybe look at another level to train. I’ve seen basketball coaches in an 8-and-under developmental league try to get so sophisticated with their drills that they lost sight of who they were coaching. When you’re trying to train Phil Jackson’s triangle offense to kids who have difficulty dribbling, I think you might run into some trouble.
I love baseball, but I don’t want to coach any league under the age of twelve or thirteen. It’s not where my strengths are as a coach. I’m not going to try to do it and give those kids inadequate training because that’s not my strong point as a teacher of the sport. Enjoy the sport, but also enjoy the age group you train.
Teach, teach, teach. That point cannot be stressed enough. I had a nephew who had two coaches. One was a teacher on the field (this was baseball). The other was the king of clichés and sarcasm. He THOUGHT he was training, but all he was doing was throwing up all the training clichés in the dictionary. When the kids did something wrong, he was quick with a sarcastic comment and cliché thrown in for good measure. It may sound simplistic. You are the right trainer, so of course you are teaching. But actually go in there and teach and demonstrate and point out to the kids how to do a skill the right way. As a trainer, make sure that you and your staff are constantly teaching. As parents, this is what we look for in a coach. We are looking for someone for our children to improve and enjoy the game.
Coaching can be an incredibly rewarding experience. Using these simple steps can go a long way in making that happen.
